*Black Girls Are Ugly*


By Micky 


Most statements in life fit into either the ‘fact’, ‘fiction’ or ‘opinion’ category.  However, it seems that some black men (and I use that term loosely), are attempting to break the rules of life, and believe if they repeat their opinions long enough, they will start to become factual. What they have achieved, in fact, is a whole new category of ‘delusion’.


Black girls are ugly’– fiction. Correction, ‘black girls are ugly’– opinion.  Sorry, ‘black girls are ugly’– delusion.  ‘Black guys who say black girls are ugly should have been the product of masturbation’– FACT.


A recurring topic of conflict between black males and females is the black males’ denunciation of the black female race. I’ve seen and heard black males constantly put black females down ‘all black girls are ugly’, ‘I can’t run my fingers through a black girl’s hair’. Can we pause just for a second to question what the pressing need is for you to run your fingers through any girl’s hair?  Okay, I get the romantic gesture of maybe playing with a few strands, wrapping them around your finger while you gaze lovingly into her eyes. But to take your four whole fingers and thumb and push them through the length of her hair, roots to end? Um.

Okay, let me continue. Now, I’m not one of those black girls with a Jackson 5 afro, who believes every word India Arie sings is gospel and who spends 140 characters of every tweet proclaiming that ‘black is beautiful’.  I am actually of mixed heritage and therefore feel I have an unbiased opinion of this issue. After all, if it wasn’t for interracial dating, I wouldn’t exist.  But I totally get why black girls would have issues with interracial dating, and the reason for that is YOU. Let me clarify some things for you though. If Tom wants to date Shaniqua, it is highly unlikely that any black girl would have an issue with this. Why? Because Tom doesn’t cuss Laura, Jess and Beth in order to appreciate Shaniqua. He appreciates Shaniqua for being Shaniqua.  However when Tyrone wants to date Chloe, it’s often because Shaniqua is ‘too loud’ and Shaniqua is ‘too hard to deal with’ and Shaniqua ‘argues too much’. How often do you hear black men say ‘I need to get me a white girl’? Not because he loves the glossy, milky radiance of Caucasian skin and the way her wispy hair blows in the wind, but because the alternative is ‘too hard’ to handle. Are white girls not insulted by this?  Being the easy alternative is not a compliment but some will sit there and giggle and blush when a black male is cussing black females.

A girl is not beautiful because she is black, neither is a girl ugly because she is white. Let your choice be a girl you find attractive who, only HAPPENS to be whatever race she is. Black girls do not ‘hate’ on white girls in interracial relationships because we want the black guy in the relationship. Negro, please. However, black men are the cause of this resentment we feel towards such relationships and therefore should take responsibility for it. I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion and their own preference. What I don’t condone, however, is an insulting, offensive public declaration of your preference.

One thing that REALLY gets to me is the phrase ‘she’s nice for a dark skinned girl.’ We all know that dark skinned girls bear the majority of the insults. It shouldn’t be like that, but it is. How dare people suggest that being dark skinned is a disadvantage? Like it’s the Paralympics -‘he plays football well for a blind man.’ As if being darker already puts you at a disadvantage and therefore if you’re pretty, you deserve bigger recognition. And who has defined what shades are beautiful? Largely, the media has. What’s interesting is that black females don’t fall for this.  We see the likes of Gabrielle Union and Kelly Rowland we see beauty. Maybe inwardly we’re affected, but it’s very rare that we would publicly express these thoughts should they exist. We have grown something called solidarity. Why put our sisters down when the rest of the world already does? Black men, strengthen your minds. Your opinions are weak because the minds they come from are weak.


One of the things I have learned growing up, is that the people I am attracted to, attract me because of their qualities, not because of someone else’s apparent downfalls. What do I mean? By all means, be with Becky, breed Becky, MARRY Becky because to you, Becky is amazing. NOT because, Shaniqua is too loud, and Shaniqua is too much to deal with and because you can’t run your fingers through Shaniqua’s hair. Speaking of hair, you have a problem with weave? My brain cells aren’t able to wrap around the foolishness of this statement. How many of you would approach Meagan Good with an afro? You hate that black girls wear weaves, you love that white girls have ‘natural’ hair? Do you even know how many white girls have hair extensions? Trust me when I say fake hair is not just a ‘black’ thing.  Why must you be negative about one race in order to be positive about another? And while you, black men read this blog, cussing my views, calling me a ‘hater’, your mother, Shaniqua is downstairs cooking your dinner.

By Micky

Source: http://www.hoodvoice.co.uk/hood-blog/dear-black-men/

Twitter: @JamaineJones


6 comments on “*Black Girls Are Ugly*

  1. … Well at the end of the day every single word that you’ve said is just your opinion. 1 out of millions of other opinions. The thing is that you putting everything you’re saying on skin color, which isn’t necessarily right. I’m a black man and I know white women who bring more drama and who are louder than black women, and I know black women who are “calmer” than your supposed white women… Your opinion is actually so flawed in many ways but I’m too lazy to respond to all of it right now=) Feel free to let me know if I’m wrong though in anything I have said.

  2. This blog was amazing! There are a lot of black men who date out of their race because, it would be easier and that’s sad! People need to be more open minded and no so quick to judge!

  3. This is called “Eldridge Cleaver Syndrome”. In a book called “Soul On Ice” by Eldridge Cleaver he explains the deeply ingrained hatred and contempt so many black men have for black women. The internet has simply given them a platform to anonymously voice their beliefs. The first thing they did when they were given a “voice” via You Tube and other social media was attack black women not white people. If black men got more power in this country the first people’s throats they would slit would be black women’s throats. Some of the things these guys have said have made me wonder if they have Klan robes in their car trunks. The only good thing coming out of all of this anit-black woman hate speech is that black women are being forced to wake up.

  4. In my area, black men hate black women with a passion, which is why I steer clear of them in certain settings. I don’t go to black clubs or social events, because there’s enough non-black women in the place for them to get a big ego, while black women hold up the wall in clusters. At the mall where I work, I do not acknowledge them, only if it’s to conduct business, which I do so efficiently. I don’t get familial with them, nor do I give them the impression that I’m a sista that’s dying for their attention.

  5. I’m a black man and I’ve dated Latina, and white women.I’ve noticed that the reason I date them is because they don’t down grade black men like they are dirt.Most black women do. We turn on each other. Personally I have never heard black men say the things about black women as black women do about black men; “He works at a fast food place and he doesn’t make enough money ,He can’t even get my hair or nails done for me. All black men or good for NOTHING. I’ve never heard a black man say that a black womens not good enough for him because she works at the mall or fast food place. Being a black man is hard enough without our own black women tearing us down with negative talk and attitudes. We hear that every day from other races. The other races stick together when we don’t . That’s the bottom line. We are losing love and respect for our own race and thats”Self destruction.”

    • Dononvan – I agree with the self destructive nature of the gross misperceptions you have identified. I must however disagree with the fact that black women degrade black men to a higher degree than the reverse occurs. I don’t think that black women have any issue with black men dating other races; however, I do believe that black women feel insulted by the stereotypical reasons that black men prefer other races – for example, black women are loud, degrading, unattractive, hair is too kinky, bums are too big, overweight/obese, features are masculine, … In short, this is descriptive of your mothers, sisters, aunts… These stereoptypes are not only falsely perpetuated by black men, but men of other races as well. I am a black woman and mother to a black son. It is disheartening to tink that my son would prefer a woman of another race over the one that created he and his sister. It is upsetting to think that he views women of other races as more attractive and better than his own sister. Additionally, I find that today many black men perceive being with a woman of a different race as a social status symbol. It somehow improves their own social standing – even asserting that the children born of these unions are superior in beauty. I agree this is self destructive and unfair. But t is also a painful reality for your sister(s), mother, and aunt(s).

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